So, what does it mean to be a Peaceful Parent and to Choose Love?
It simply means that we regulate our own emotions first, so that we can treat our children with kindness and respect as we lovingly and intentionally guide and teach them, using empathy and connection. Ultimately, it is a mindfulness practice.
Parenting is 80% Connection and 20% Coaching - Dr. Laura Markham
The Peace in Peaceful Parent begins in you. It is a commitment to regulating your own emotions first, so that you can turn to your child and respond to the need they are showing you. By doing so, you teach your child how to manage their own emotions. A simple idea, but a life long practice. Parenting Peacefully takes more than commitment and practice. You need tools. The tools are what keep you from yelling and punishing when you get upset. This is the hardest part of parenting. It is also the most important and the key to creating more peace and joy in your family and your life!
Connection creates cooperation. Connection is the sweetness in parenting and what makes it all worthwhile. Connection is really the only influence we have to get our children to do what we want them to do. Children only act out when they feel disconnected. When our child is not cooperative, we know to focus on creating more connection. The beauty is that love and connection grow and continue to deepen our relationship with our child through the teen years and into adulthood.
Coach instead of Control. Yes, all children need empathetic limits. When we accept our child's emotions and set empathetic limits on their behavior, children learn that they may not always get what they want, but they get something better - a parent who is on their side, is there to guide them and loves them no matter what. When we coach instead of control, children are much more willing to comply. Research shows that coaching is much more effective than punishment and instills an inner moral compass.
This is where I can really help you. I know you want to be your best for your child. I know how very hard it is to be a parent. I am here to understand, support and help you through the rough times and celebrate your successes. I will listen to you and help you reframe your child's behavior, so you can see the behavior in a new light that gives you more patience and space to respond to your child's needs with love. I will give you tools to regulate your own emotions so that you can Choose Love moment by moment.
Every choice we make and every action we take comes from Love or Fear.